Robot 1-X, save my friends! And Zoidberg! All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit… that’s why I’m transferring to business school! Kif, I have mated with a woman. Inform the men. I could if you hadn’t turned on the light and shut off my stereo. There’s no part of that sentence I didn’t like! I had more, but you go ahead. Who are you, my warranty?! Bender, we’re trying our best.
Why not indeed! Oh dear! She’s stuck in an infinite loop, and he’s an idiot! Well, that’s love for you. Oh, but you can. But you may have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil. And by “devil”, I mean Robot Devil. And by “metaphorically”, I mean get your coat. Okay, I like a challenge.
You don’t know how to do any of those. [introducing himself] I am the man with no name, Zapp Brannigan! Yeah, I do that with my stupidness. Hey! I’m a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? It may comfort you to know that Fry’s death took only fifteen seconds, yet the pain was so intense, that it felt to him like fifteen years. And it goes without saying, it caused him to empty his bowels. Can I use the gun?
Yeah, lots of people did. I barely knew Philip, but as a clergyman I have no problem telling his most intimate friends all about him. Nay, I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar.
Coming Soon to a website near you!
Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it. Please do not offer my god a peanut. I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming. Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. I didn’t get rich by signing checks.
Human contact: the final frontier. Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!” Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about! You don’t win friends with salad. I’ll be back. You can’t keep the Democrats out of the White House forever, and when they get in, I’m back on the streets, with all my criminal buddies.
The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers. Oh God, my uncle. How am I ever gonna explain this? You don’t believe in the Force, do you? I have traced the Rebel spies to her. Now she is my only link to finding their secret base. Look, I ain’t in this for your revolution, and I’m not in it for you, Princess. I expect to be well paid. I’m in it for the money.
I can’t get involved! I’ve got work to do! It’s not that I like the Empire, I hate it, but there’s nothing I can do about it right now. It’s such a long way from here. I need your help, Luke. She needs your help. I’m getting too old for this sort of thing. Dantooine. They’re on Dantooine. You’re all clear, kid. Let’s blow this thing and go home!
In my experience, there is no such thing as luck. Still, she’s got a lot of spirit. I don’t know, what do you think? You think a princess and a guy like me- Hey, Luke! May the Force be with you. Red Five standing by. What!? You mean it controls your actions?
I find your lack of faith disturbing. Your eyes can deceive you. Don’t trust them. Leave that to me. Send a distress signal, and inform the Senate that all on board were killed. I’m trying not to, kid.
Obi-Wan is here. The Force is with him. Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. Escape is not his plan. I must face him, alone. But with the blast shield down, I can’t even see! How am I supposed to fight?
The plans you refer to will soon be back in our hands. Remember, a Jedi can feel the Force flowing through him. I don’t know what you’re talking about. I am a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan–
All right. Well, take care of yourself, Han. I guess that’s what you’re best at, ain’t it? No! Alderaan is peaceful. We have no weapons. You can’t possibly… Partially, but it also obeys your commands. You are a part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor! Take her away! I’m surprised you had the courage to take the responsibility yourself.
The Force is strong with this one. I have you now. What good is a reward if you ain’t around to use it? Besides, attacking that battle station ain’t my idea of courage. It’s more like…suicide. She must have hidden the plans in the escape pod. Send a detachment down to retrieve them, and see to it personally, Commander. There’ll be no one to stop us this time! A tremor in the Force. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master.