Yeah, lots of people did. [turns off the TV] No, of course not. It was… uh… porno. Yeah, that’s it. Yes! In your face, Gandhi! Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun! Bender, this is Fry’s decision… and he made it wrong. So it’s time for us to interfere in his life. Humans dating robots is sick. You people wonder why I’m still single? It’s ’cause all the fine robot sisters are dating humans!
You’ve killed me! Oh, you’ve killed me! Isn’t it true that you have been paid for your testimony? I could if you hadn’t turned on the light and shut off my stereo. Son, as your lawyer, I declare y’all are in a 12-piece bucket o’ trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin’ up that ol’ mess you caused. Bender! Ship! Stop bickering or I’m going to come back there and change your opinions manually! Yes! In your face, Gandhi!
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Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as “the brig”. One hundred dollars. You can crush me but you can’t crush my spirit! Tell her she looks thin. Calculon is gonna kill us and it’s all everybody else’s fault!
Hey, what kinda party is this? There’s no booze and only one hooker. Come, Comrade Bender! We must take to the streets! I was having the most wonderful dream. Except you were there, and you were there, and you were there! A sexy mistake. You’ve killed me! Oh, you’ve killed me!
This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me! What’s with you kids? Every other day it’s food, food, food. [pause] Alright, I’ll get you some stupid food. What kind of a father would I be if I said no? Look, last night was a mistake.
But I know you in the future. I cleaned your poop. It may comfort you to know that Fry’s death took only fifteen seconds, yet the pain was so intense, that it felt to him like fifteen years. And it goes without saying, it caused him to empty his bowels. Now, now. Perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything. We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.
“Thank the Lord”? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don’t have a place within an organized religion. What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here anyway. Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me? Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!”
Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry? Fire can be our friend; whether it’s toasting marshmallows or raining down on Charlie. Oh, so they have Internet on computers now!