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WPBundle on July 18, 2011 at 2:06 am

Nimble you ever tried just turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them? I was having the most wonderful dream. Except you were there, and you were there, and you were there! But I’ve never been to the moon! No, just a regular mistake.

Ugh, it’s filthy! Why not create a National Endowment for Strip Clubs while we’re at it? Calculon is gonna kill us and it’s all everybody else’s fault! And from now on you’re all named Bender Jr.

I guess if you want children beaten, you have to do it yourself. If rubbin’ frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey I don’t wanna be right. Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? …To shreds, you say. Well, how is his wife holding up? …To shreds, you say. It’s toe-tappingly tragic! Shinier than yours, meatbag. I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness.

Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system! Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough water! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! Now leave before I am forced to taunt you a second time! You don’t frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you, so-called Ah-thoor Keeng, you and all your silly English K-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-niggits! Well, I got better. He hasn’t got shit all over him

WPBundle on July 18, 2011 at 2:26 am

Tell them I hate them. Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase “upside your head.” Bender, we’re trying our best. Listen. Bloody Peasant! Now, look here, my good man– No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. Well, how’d you become king, then? A newt?

Found them? In Mercia?! The coconut’s tropical! Who’s that then? Camelot! And the hat. She’s a witch! Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I’m being repressed! Well, we did do the nose

WPBundle on July 18, 2011 at 2:27 am

I don’t ‘need’ to drink. I can quit anytime I want! And why did ‘I’ have to take a cab? All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit… that’s why I’m transferring to business school! Bender! Ship! Stop bickering or I’m going to come back there and change your opinions manually! Goodbye, cruel world. Goodbye, cruel lamp. Goodbye, cruel velvet drapes, lined with what would appear to be some sort of cruel muslin and the cute little pom-pom curtain pull cords. Cruel though they may be… Who am I making this out to?

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