Sorry, no tweets could be loaded.
Subscribe to Twitter

Honda Boosts Insight Fuel Economy by Lengthening Start-Stop Ability?

Oh, so they have Internet on computers now! I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn. You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way. Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone. Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2. Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!” Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds!

But with the blast shield down, I can’t even see! How am I supposed to fight? I’m surprised you had the courage to take the responsibility yourself. I need your help, Luke. She needs your help. I’m getting too old for this sort of thing.

Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me? How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs. Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze. Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.

Here’s an Example of a Blockquote!

That’s a Pretty Awesome Thought

Oh, a *sarcasm* detector. Oh, that’s a *really* useful invention! Uh, no, they’re saying “Boo-urns, Boo-urns.” I don’t like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there’s too many fat children. What good is money if it can’t inspire terror in your fellow man? When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he’s holding a gun. You don’t win friends with salad.

That’s About all, I think

Donuts. Is there anything they can’t do? Homer no function beer well without. Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the…uh…what cures cancer? No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it.

I was saying “Boo-urns.” Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?* No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it. Inflammable means flammable? What a country.

Tags: , ,

4 Comments

  1. You are a part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor! Take her away! What!? Leave that to me. Send a distress signal, and inform the Senate that all on board were killed. Alderaan? I’m not going to Alderaan. I’ve got to go home. It’s late, I’m in for it as it is. As you wish. The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.

  2. I was saying “Boo-urns.” Dad didn’t leave… When he comes back from the store, he’s going to wave those pop-tarts right in your face! I didn’t think it was physically possible, but this both sucks *and* blows.

    That’s why I love elementary school, Edna. The children believe anything you tell them. Stan Lee never left. I’m afraid his mind is no longer in mint condition. Get ready, skanks! It’s time for the truth train! No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it.

  3. Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry? Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly” and replace “dog” with “son.” Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love! You don’t win friends with salad. I stand by my racial slur.

    Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?* Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There’s a *New* Mexico? Can’t you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can’t be policing the entire city! I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds…it makes ice.

  4. Save me, Jeebus. Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the…uh…what cures cancer? Get ready, skanks! It’s time for the truth train!

    I hope I didn’t brain my damage. I’m allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh, die. What good is money if it can’t inspire terror in your fellow man?

Leave a Reply

Hyundai Equus Mummbles and Dubs its way to SEMA

Ah, yes! John Quincy Adding Machine. He struck a chord...

2011 Porsche Cayenne S Hybrid to hit U.S. dealers in November

I prefer a vehicle that doesn’t hurt Mother Earth. It’s...

Honda Boosts Insight Fuel Economy by Lengthening Start-Stop Ability?

Oh, so they have Internet on computers now! I hope...

Bentley Reportedly to Expand Continental Range With Special Editions

Im allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh,...

Lotus Reportedly Brought In For Chassis Work On New Vauxhall Astra VXR

I didn’t get rich by signing checks. Weaseling out of...