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Lotus Reportedly Brought In For Chassis Work On New Vauxhall Astra VXR

I didn’t get rich by signing checks. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals…except the weasel. Your questions have become more redundant and annoying than the last three “Highlander” movies. Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone.

Please do not offer my god a peanut. Old people don’t need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use. I was saying “Boo-urns.” Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it. I prefer a vehicle that doesn’t hurt Mother Earth. It’s a go-cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction.

Quote: You don’t like your job, you don’t strike.

Oh A Sarcasm Detector

Oh, a *sarcasm* detector. Oh, that’s a *really* useful invention! Uh, no, they’re saying “Boo-urns, Boo-urns.” I don’t like being outdoors, Smithers. For one thing, there’s too many fat children. What good is money if it can’t inspire terror in your fellow man? When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he’s holding a gun. You don’t win friends with salad.

That’s About all, I think

Donuts. Is there anything they can’t do? Homer no function beer well without. Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the…uh…what cures cancer? No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it.

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4 Comments

  1. You are a part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor! Take her away! What!? Leave that to me. Send a distress signal, and inform the Senate that all on board were killed. Alderaan? I’m not going to Alderaan. I’ve got to go home. It’s late, I’m in for it as it is. As you wish. The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.

    • I hope I didn’t brain my damage. How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname?

  2. Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly” and replace “dog” with “son.” Oh, I’m in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don’t have to listen to myself. I’m drunk. Shoplifting is a victimless crime. Like punching someone in the dark.

  3. Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel Prize for attempted chemistry? Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly” and replace “dog” with “son.” Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love! You don’t win friends with salad. I stand by my racial slur.

    Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?* Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There’s a *New* Mexico? Can’t you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can’t be policing the entire city! I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds…it makes ice.

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