Duffman Cannot Breathe

Duffman can’t breathe! OH NO! Marge, just about everything’s a sin. Y’ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we’re not supposed to go to the bathroom. You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way. …And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night.



  1. 01
    Liam McKay Nov 11nd 2010

    Please, Don-Bot… look into your hard drive, and open your mercy file! Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub onto your skin? You’d think it would be something you’d have to freebase. Anyhoo, your net-suits will allow you to experience Fry’s worm infested bowels as if you were actually wriggling through them. Bender, we’re trying our best. Son, as your lawyer, I declare y’all are in a 12-piece bucket o’ trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin’ up that ol’ mess you caused.

    Noooooo! Maybe I love you so much I love you no matter who you are pretending to be. Shut up and get to the point!

    Who am I making this out to? You won’t have time for sleeping, soldier, not with all the bed making you’ll be doing. It’s okay, Bender. I like cooking too. Okay, it’s 500 dollars, you have no choice of carrier, the battery can’t hold the charge and the reception isn’t very… Man, I’m sore all over. I feel like I just went ten rounds with mighty Thor. Check it out, y’all. Everyone who was invited is here.

  2. 02
    Sevenpixels Nov 11nd 2010

    Yes, if you make it look like an electrical fire. When you do things right, people won’t be sure you’ve done anything at all. We don’t have a brig. Fry! Stay back! He’s too powerful!

    Why did you bring us here? Bender, you risked your life to save me! I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Uhh… also, comes with double prize money. Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as “the brig”. Um, is this the boring, peaceful kind of taking to the streets?

  3. 03
    Prashant Karandikar Nov 11nd 2010

    All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit… that’s why I’m transferring to business school! Hey, what kinda party is this? There’s no booze and only one hooker. You know, I was God once.

    I meant ‘physically’. Look, perhaps you could let me work for a little food? I could clean the floors or paint a fence, or service you sexually? If rubbin’ frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey I don’t wanna be right. Really?! Stop! Don’t shoot fire stick in space canoe! Cause explosive decompression! Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn’t I break his legs?