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Look, I can take you as far as Anchorhead. You can get a transport there to Mos Eisley or wherever you’re going. Hey, Luke! May the Force be with you. Still, she’s got a lot of spirit. I don’t know, what do you think? You think a princess and a guy like me- As you wish. I can’t get involved! I’ve got work to do! It’s not that I like the Empire, I hate it, but there’s nothing I can do about it right now. It’s such a long way from here. I suggest you try it again, Luke. This time, let go your conscious self and act on instinct.

Partially, but it also obeys your commands. I want to come with you to Alderaan. There’s nothing for me here now. I want to learn the ways of the Force and be a Jedi, like my father before me. You mean it controls your actions? Obi-Wan is here. The Force is with him. Your eyes can deceive you. Don’t trust them.

Escape is not his plan. I must face him, alone.

You don’t believe in the Force, do you? Remember, a Jedi can feel the Force flowing through him. She must have hidden the plans in the escape pod. Send a detachment down to retrieve them, and see to it personally, Commander. There’ll be no one to stop us this time! The Force is strong with this one. I have you now. I have traced the Rebel spies to her. Now she is my only link to finding their secret base.

Dantooine. They’re on Dantooine. You’re all clear, kid. Let’s blow this thing and go home! Kid, I’ve flown from one side of this galaxy to the other. I’ve seen a lot of strange stuff, but I’ve never seen anything to make me believe there’s one all-powerful Force controlling everything.

There’s no mystical energy field that controls my destiny. It’s all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense. Leave that to me. Send a distress signal, and inform the Senate that all on board were killed.

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You don’t know how to do any of those. [introducing himself] I am the man with no name, Zapp Brannigan! Yeah, I do that with my stupidness. Hey! I’m a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? It may comfort you to know that Fry’s death took only fifteen seconds, yet the pain was so intense, that it felt to him like fifteen years. And it goes without saying, it caused him to empty his bowels. Can I use the gun?

I barely knew Philip, but as a clergyman I have no problem telling his most intimate friends all about him. Nay, I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar.

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Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it. Please do not offer my god a peanut. I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming. Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. I didn’t get rich by signing checks. Oh, but you can.

That’s The Spirit

You don’t know how to do any of those. [introducing himself] I am the man with no name, Zapp Brannigan! Yeah, I do that with my stupidness. Hey! I’m a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? It may comfort you to know that Fry’s death took only fifteen seconds, yet the pain was so intense, that it felt to him like fifteen years. And it goes without saying, it caused him to empty his bowels. Can I use the gun?

Yeah Exactly!

Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it. Please do not offer my god a peanut. I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming. Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. I didn’t get rich by signing checks. Human contact: the final frontier. Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!” Fame was like a drug.

But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. Everything looks bad if you remember it. Please do not offer my god a peanut. I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming. Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. I didn’t get rich by signing checks. Human contact: the final frontier. Hi. I’m Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self-help tapes as “Smoke Yourself Thin” and “Get Some Confidence, Stupid!” Fame was like a drug. You don’t know how to do any of those. [introducing himself] I am the man with no name, Zapp Brannigan! Yeah, I do that with my stupidness. There’s no part of that sentence I didn’t like!

It’s another Header. I just love them.

All right. Well, take care of yourself, Han. I guess that’s what you’re best at, ain’t it? What?! Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. The plans you refer to will soon be back in our hands. A tremor in the Force. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master.

The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers. Oh God, my uncle. How am I ever gonna explain this? You are a part of the Rebel Alliance and a traitor! Take her away! I’m surprised you had the courage to take the responsibility yourself. Alderaan? I’m not going to Alderaan. I’ve got to go home. It’s late, I’m in for it as it is. I don’t know what you’re talking about. I am a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan–

Escape is not his plan. I must face him, alone. He is here. Don’t underestimate the Force. What!? I find your lack of faith disturbing.

But with the blast shield down, I can’t even see! How am I supposed to fight? I need your help, Luke. She needs your help. I’m getting too old for this sort of thing. What good is a reward if you ain’t around to use it? Besides, attacking that battle station ain’t my idea of courage. It’s more like…suicide.

4 Comments

  1. WPBundle

    What kind of a father would I be if I said no? Hey! I’m a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? For the last time, I don’t like lilacs! Your ‘first’ wife was the one who liked lilacs! Tell her she looks thin.

  2. Scorpiono

    All right. Well, take care of yourself, Han. I guess that’s what you’re best at, ain’t it? I call it luck. I find your lack of faith disturbing. Obi-Wan is here. The Force is with him. I need your help, Luke. She needs your help. I’m getting too old for this sort of thing.

    Don’t act so surprised, Your Highness. You weren’t on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you. In my experience, there is no such thing as luck. Oh God, my uncle. How am I ever gonna explain this? The Force is strong with this one. I have you now.

  3. Liam McKay

    I need your help, Luke. She needs your help. I’m getting too old for this sort of thing. Don’t act so surprised, Your Highness. You weren’t on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you. You’re all clear, kid. Let’s blow this thing and go home! Obi-Wan is here. The Force is with him. Your eyes can deceive you. Don’t trust them.

    In my experience, there is no such thing as luck. You mean it controls your actions? Red Five standing by. I suggest you try it again, Luke. This time, let go your conscious self and act on instinct.

  4. Chad Mueller

    The plans you refer to will soon be back in our hands. Escape is not his plan. I must face him, alone. I find your lack of faith disturbing. As you wish.

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